Hey!
2015 has been a roller coaster of crazy and it's hard to believe that it's almost over. My blog has always been a place of openness and honesty. It's also a place free of judgment. I would like to be free to say whatever is on my mind. Here's what I've learned this year.
1. Sometimes life is more gray than Black and White
What I mean by this is that, We like to separate right and wrong without realizing none of us are living completely like Christ. We are not on either side of the spectrum, in one way or the other we are in the middle, Gray. I have always felt this way though. I know I was talking about Celibacy just a couple months ago. This is not hypocritical, this is uncut and honest. Hypocritical would be writing about the good but hiding the ugly. I'm not that kind of Christian. Never have been and never will be. HONESTLY, I have ping ponged about this idea. I would like to wait until marriage but you can never be sure. I love myself and want to fulfill all that God has for me. Can we ever be sure of the future? No, absolutely not. Throughout this year I have faced scrutiny and support, and looking at the people who are getting married-I'm like is there even hope? Is there even room for a girl like me? I hope so. I ultimately want a partner, a best friend and I just battle with this idea of whether I even still want to date or just be friends with a guy. I actually don't think a man and woman can be completely friendly, unless one of them is gay. Feel free to disagree. I think that there will always be some sort of sexual tension either between the two or it might be one sided. This year, despite being an over-planning and anxious mess, I have learned there are some things you cannot plan. Be that, career oppurtunities, love or other life experiences. Yes, I am interested in someone. Yes, we shared an intimate moment. I still hold my beliefs but I have been shown time and time again that some things aren't black and white. I don't know when I'll meet my husband but I do hope I'm mature and ready. Celibacy is important and guarding your heart is also nice. Feelings develop and I just hope I share that experience with someone I truly love. I do not want to regret anything. I will try to live my life as moral as I can. I'll leave it at that.
2. Anxiety is Real
I've never shared this on the blog but, after my Mom passed I changed. It was like there was a shift within me that hardened my heart. I honestly stopped caring about a lot of things-which was bad because I had finals the next week. I stopped caring about myself. I actually wanted to die. Life did not have a meaning. That grief carried on into anxiety. I has been 4 years. Earlier this year, I moved into my first apartment and I started really experiencing anxiety. There is something that happens when you and your nightmare are face to face. For me, that was being alone. I was alone for months and months in a room that seemed like a box. Even a couple of months ago, I felt like I wanted to jump out of my skin. I asked for healing and talked to God. I asked for patience and wisdom. I took up things to help me stay busy. I took walks even when I didn't need anything. I left my house and went to different events. This goes back to the over planning thing. I needed to stop doing that. When things don't go my way, I worry. I need to also stop doing that. I also got a coloring book. That helps. I haven't felt that level of anxiety in a while and I am so happy. I am so blessed and I need to focus on each wonderful moment that I share with those closest to me!
3. I am Sexy AF
Not to toot my own horn, but I am so beautiful and I don't know why it took me so long to realize that. I have never felt so much self confidence in my life. I love my hair, I love my features and my mannerisms. I don't care what anyone might think about me as long as I believe I'm beautiful. This was definitely a year of magnificent growth for me.
4. Just Let it be
Towards the end of this year I cut some people out of my life but I also just like things naturally happen. I am not forcing relationships, jobs, hairstyles or lifestyles anymore. I am not fighting over anything with anyone. It's all no stress and I like it like that. I people don't want me in their life, they can leave. Why give myself unnecessary stress? Who wants an early grave? Not me. Sometimes, I have to remind myself to just BREATHE. Take it easy. One step at a time.
Happy Holidays!
XO, 9jaknots
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
#25daysoflippies Roll Call
Hey Peeps! #25daysoflippies is a tag that I created on instagram that basically compiles all the lippies that I wore in the first 25 days of Christmas. This was very challenging because I did have to wear more makeup than I have worn this whole year but it was pretty darn fun as well! I am thinking of just doing a 12 days of christmas next year though.
X 9jaknots
Day 1: Colourpop Ultra Matte Lipstick in Guess
Eggplant Purple
This is a wonderful and rare color but girrrrrl it does apply patchy and you will need multiple coats. Also as you can see it does settle into your fine lines. Other than that it lasts you all day.
Day 2: Colourpop Ultra Matte Lipstick in Limbo
Chocolate Brown
The most comfortable color that I have tried from Colourpop. I did not even feel like I was wearing lipstick and it lasted me all day-SAY WHAT!?
Day 3: Colourpop Ultra Matte Lipstick in Jellies
Cobalt Blue
What can I say? This is an extremely daring color that I knew I wanted the first time I saw it on Youtube. It is a bit patchy but also somewhat buildable.
Day 4: Colourpop Ultra Matte Lipstick in Dr. M
Forest Green
I never actually thought that I would be wearing green lipstick as a Woman of Color, there are specific rules on what we can and cannot wear but oh well. I do like neat lines so I lined it with black liner to tone it down.
Day 5: Ruby Kisses Matte lipstick in Purple Affair
Barney Purple
Always get compliments on it and this one of my few matte purples.
Day 6: Colourpop Ultra Matte Lipstick in Drive in
Muted Magenta
The colourpop website describes the color that way but it honestly comes off brighter on me. Almost hot pink but still wearable. It does settle in your lines a bit but is pretty comfortable. Don't worry guys, no more colourpop talk for a while.
Day 7: Lagirl Matte Flat Velvet Lipstick in Blue Velvet
Navy Blue
Very pretty matte color that does transfer a little bit.
Day 8: Wet n Wild mochalicious + NYX buttergloss in Tiramisu
Day 9: Ulta dual eyeliner in brown + Avon everlasting petal lipgloss + NYX buttergloss in Tiramisu
This is more like my lips but better. I wanted to experiment with different nude combinations.
Day 11: Nicka K Berry Plum lipstick
Red-Orange
Cream finish but a nice quality lipstick
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Day 12: Ulta eyeliner+NYX Cosmetics soft matte lip cream in Monte Carlo
Day 13: Wet n Wild Dollhouse Pink + NYX Sweet Pink Lipgloss
Day 14: Wet n Wild Fergie Collection: Ferguson Crest
Deep Burgundy
Day 15: Lagirl Cosmetics Matte Flat Velvet Lipstick in Spicy
Chocolate Brown
Day 16: Jordana Cosmetics BFF Lipgloss
Soft pink gloss
Day 17: Ruby Kisses Matte lipstick in Blackism
True Black
Day 18: NYX Cosmetics Intense Buttergloss in Berry Strudel
High-gloss Dark Lavender
Day 19: Revlon Lip Butter in Lollipop
Magenta with light sparkles
Day 20: Ruby Kisses Matte lipstick in Red Mangrove
Reddish Coral
Puh-leassse excuse my dry ass skin in the next few swatches, this is why moisturizer and foundation have been on deck through this season!!! They were honestly swatched on the same day. These dry patches are trying to shame me, chai!
Day 21: NYX Intense Buttergloss in Black Cherry Tart
Dark Purple
Day 22: Wet n Wild Cherry Bomb
Blue-toned Red
Can I just say WetnWild is just a great brand. I'm a simple girl who loves to save coins and they just come in clutch with all these great dupes for just $2.99
Day 23: NYX Currant lipliner+ Maybelline Vibrant Violet Matte lipstick+ NYX buttergloss in Strawberry Parfait
Very Flattering on my skin-I really enjoy making new colors!
Day 24: NYX Soft matte lip cream in Addis Ababa
Soft Pink
It's actually more wearable than it looks.
Day 25: Nicka K Lipstick in Smalt
Iridescent Cobalt blue
The only difference between this and Jellies is the finish and opacity. This is one of my first lipsticks and I still gravitate towards it! Very beautiful and not too overpowering.
Monday, December 28, 2015
The Different Faces of BLOGMAS
Hey peeps!
DEC 1st: Vampy Vixen
Honestly, this look came out better than I thought it would. Mama likkkkee.
BLOGMAS was a time of loving myself, and embracing my confidence. I wore quite a few looks and quite a few lippies as well. Here are the different faces of this great month! Hope y'all enjoy and feel free to comment what your favorite look was and what your favorite makeup brands are below!
X 9jaknots
X 9jaknots
DEC 1st: Vampy Vixen
Honestly, this look came out better than I thought it would. Mama likkkkee.
DEC 2nd: Sultry Brown Look
Inspired by a very purty youtuber, who is also Nigerian.
Her handle is @thetemiotouch
DEC 3rd: Baddie with a Blue Lip
Blue is literally everything right in the world. I have so much blue in my closet and I do not know why....
DEC 6th: Barbie Pink
DEC 9th: Holiday Glam
DEC 11th: Simplistic Red
DEC 16th: Care-Free Black Girl: Is it possible to be unbothered and awkward?
DEC 17th: Kanye's Graduation Album
Yes it is absolutely possible to feel like an entire album-just listen to it!
It's about feeling so unstoppable and bad-ass you can take on the world.
DEC 18th: Neutral
DEC 22nd: I Feel Pretty
I was basically ready for my vacation at this point. I wanted a little something since I would not be wearing makeup for a good minute.
Product list:
Loreal true match foundation: N8 cappuccino
Covergirl Ready, Set, Gorgeous Foundation: 320 soft sable
Maybelline Instant Age Rewind: 360 cocoa
Black Radiance bb cream: Brown sugar
NYX HD concealer: Nutmeg
Covergirl Queen Concealer
LAgirl liquid eye marker
Wetnwild Highlighter in Hollywood Boulevard
Wetnwild Blush in Berry Shimmer
NYX eyebrow mascara
ULTA Foundation
Elf primer
Elf Setting Spray
*All lippies will be in the next post!
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
BLOGMAS #FOTD
Hey, loves!
Just a quick BLOGMAS look with deets because I felt supah sexy today!
Brows:
NYX Cosmetics Brow Gel
Eyes:
Elf cosmetics eye primer
Lagirl nudes pallete + Lagirl eyeliner marker
Lips:
ULTA dual ended eyeliner
Lagirl Matte Flat Velvet Lipstick in spicy
NYX cosmetics butter gloss in tiramisu
Face:
ULTA matte prime
Maybelline Instant Age Rewind
-360 cocoa
NYX cosmetics concealer in nutmeg
ULTA powder foundation
Wet n Wild highlighter pallete in Hollywood boulevard
Elf cosmetics setting spray
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
REACTIONS I received for wearing DR. M [colourpop cosmetics]
HEY Peeps! Let me tell you, the day I wore Dr. M was quite the day. I honestly don't care much about the flack I may get for wearing any color but the reactions were honestly hilarious. I thought I'd share it with y'all. This I what people think when a black girl wears GREEN LIPSTICK.
1. Lots and lots of staring
I was like Golly! am I crazy or all these people really staring at me right now? THEY REALLY WERE. Even at my job. People were looking at me like I was crazy but also like I was doing something that they could never do. I'm bold and I like it.
2. "OH, That's...unique."
I KID y'all not, like almost all the white womens that saw me said this. So I'm gonna assume "unique" is code for something. Not beautiful, or pretty but...unique. Not like I really care but I will wear any color I want whether y'all think it's pretty or not.
3. "Did you eat a bunch of candy?"
Now, y'all know a man must've said this. Why we throwing slugs? I just looked at him like, REALLY, nigga? Funny thing was, I lined my shit-so why he tryna play me like that?!
4. "WOAH, is it halloween?"
Yeah, because we always have a second halloween at the end of november. Another Dumb question.
5. "That's a beautiful color."
6. "That color looks great on you, where'd you get it?"
I'm so enveloped into the makeup world that, I get so surprised when women still do not know what colourpop is. I guess they still have a ways to go before they reach MAC status. That's the only brand I hear 90% women rave about.
7. "I was looking at you like you were crazy too."
Said by one of my managers
8. "WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR LIPS?"
Said by one of my work friends veryyy loudly in front of a group of people. CAN WE SAY, AWKWARD?
9. "What's the occasion?"
So this customer thought that I was celebrating something or maybe she was just subtly trying to play me...I Don't know. She looked very concerned.
10. "LOOK AT YOU!"
Yasss Bow down bishesss.
1. Lots and lots of staring
I was like Golly! am I crazy or all these people really staring at me right now? THEY REALLY WERE. Even at my job. People were looking at me like I was crazy but also like I was doing something that they could never do. I'm bold and I like it.
2. "OH, That's...unique."
I KID y'all not, like almost all the white womens that saw me said this. So I'm gonna assume "unique" is code for something. Not beautiful, or pretty but...unique. Not like I really care but I will wear any color I want whether y'all think it's pretty or not.
3. "Did you eat a bunch of candy?"
Now, y'all know a man must've said this. Why we throwing slugs? I just looked at him like, REALLY, nigga? Funny thing was, I lined my shit-so why he tryna play me like that?!
4. "WOAH, is it halloween?"
Yeah, because we always have a second halloween at the end of november. Another Dumb question.
5. "That's a beautiful color."
6. "That color looks great on you, where'd you get it?"
I'm so enveloped into the makeup world that, I get so surprised when women still do not know what colourpop is. I guess they still have a ways to go before they reach MAC status. That's the only brand I hear 90% women rave about.
7. "I was looking at you like you were crazy too."
Said by one of my managers
8. "WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR LIPS?"
Said by one of my work friends veryyy loudly in front of a group of people. CAN WE SAY, AWKWARD?
9. "What's the occasion?"
So this customer thought that I was celebrating something or maybe she was just subtly trying to play me...I Don't know. She looked very concerned.
10. "LOOK AT YOU!"
Yasss Bow down bishesss.
Friday, December 4, 2015
BEST SHIT ON TV 2015
Hey Dolls!
This is my round up of the best shit on TV. I am NOT being dramatic. If you do not watch at least half of these you are majorly missing out. Good television is not "reality" tv to me, it is a show that makes you laugh, cry and gasp all in one episode. There is a plot and an end game, we are constantly at the edge of our seats and not sure of where the show will take us next. I'll be doing a very brief summary of each. These are in no particular order, I just can't go without catching up to all of these.
Hope y'all will check some of these great shows out if you have not already!
1. Scandal on ABC
In case the title didn't tell you enough--This is an uber suspenseful show about a high profile DC "fixer" named Olivia Pope and her minions. I believe I've been following this show for 4 or 5 seasons now and I've seen EV-ERY episode. The show revolves around the several scandals but Olivia is involved in one of the biggest ones. This show is quite political and draws reference to quite a few issues. Mid-season finale just happened and you should definitely catch up!
4. The Haves and the Have Nots on OWN
OMG. THIS SHOW RIGHT HURR. This show is something else. Let me tell you--I could not stand this show at first. As someone who knows a bit about acting, some of the actors do not do this show justice. The plot keeps me watching. I think this show was meant to mimic a soap opera. One of the main characters was a huge soap star. I watched like two seasons in a week I believe. It's about 4 seasons in. It revolves around the social classes of Savannah, Georgia. Hence the name. There is so much drama and I can't say much without saying TOO MUCH. Ohhhh chile, you BETTA watch! This also returns next year.
This is my round up of the best shit on TV. I am NOT being dramatic. If you do not watch at least half of these you are majorly missing out. Good television is not "reality" tv to me, it is a show that makes you laugh, cry and gasp all in one episode. There is a plot and an end game, we are constantly at the edge of our seats and not sure of where the show will take us next. I'll be doing a very brief summary of each. These are in no particular order, I just can't go without catching up to all of these.
Hope y'all will check some of these great shows out if you have not already!
1. Scandal on ABC
In case the title didn't tell you enough--This is an uber suspenseful show about a high profile DC "fixer" named Olivia Pope and her minions. I believe I've been following this show for 4 or 5 seasons now and I've seen EV-ERY episode. The show revolves around the several scandals but Olivia is involved in one of the biggest ones. This show is quite political and draws reference to quite a few issues. Mid-season finale just happened and you should definitely catch up!
2. How to Get away with Murder on ABC
This show has only been on for 2 seasons now and is created by Shonda Rhimes just like Scandal. So of course I checked it out! It is also revolving around a lawyer but she teaches criminology at a college. Guess what she teaches?! .......I'll wait. After watching all these shows with lawyers I actually feel like I've gone to law school. Great show and WILL NOT SPOIL. Mid-season finale also just happened.
This show has only been on for 2 seasons now and is created by Shonda Rhimes just like Scandal. So of course I checked it out! It is also revolving around a lawyer but she teaches criminology at a college. Guess what she teaches?! .......I'll wait. After watching all these shows with lawyers I actually feel like I've gone to law school. Great show and WILL NOT SPOIL. Mid-season finale also just happened.
3. Jane the Virgin on CW
2 seasons in and I just love it! When I first heard CW was doing a show like this I was so happy, because I could actually relate. This show follows Jane, a latina in her mid 20's who is a virgin. Here's the catch--she gets artificially inseminated by accident!! This show follows Jane as she embarks on some crazy adventures while still remaining relatable. Sort of for the young crowd.
2 seasons in and I just love it! When I first heard CW was doing a show like this I was so happy, because I could actually relate. This show follows Jane, a latina in her mid 20's who is a virgin. Here's the catch--she gets artificially inseminated by accident!! This show follows Jane as she embarks on some crazy adventures while still remaining relatable. Sort of for the young crowd.
4. The Haves and the Have Nots on OWN
OMG. THIS SHOW RIGHT HURR. This show is something else. Let me tell you--I could not stand this show at first. As someone who knows a bit about acting, some of the actors do not do this show justice. The plot keeps me watching. I think this show was meant to mimic a soap opera. One of the main characters was a huge soap star. I watched like two seasons in a week I believe. It's about 4 seasons in. It revolves around the social classes of Savannah, Georgia. Hence the name. There is so much drama and I can't say much without saying TOO MUCH. Ohhhh chile, you BETTA watch! This also returns next year.
5. Awkward on MTV
Also for the young crowd--I'm 20 by the way. This show just ended it 4th season. I have watched EVERY episode. This follows a group of highschoolers and Jenna Hamilton is the main character. She is uber unpopular at the beginning of the series and actually dies {of embarrasment} many a-times. Talk about AWKWARD. This is probably the only thing I have long term watched on MTV since Pimp my Ride. Comes back in 2016.
Also for the young crowd--I'm 20 by the way. This show just ended it 4th season. I have watched EVERY episode. This follows a group of highschoolers and Jenna Hamilton is the main character. She is uber unpopular at the beginning of the series and actually dies {of embarrasment} many a-times. Talk about AWKWARD. This is probably the only thing I have long term watched on MTV since Pimp my Ride. Comes back in 2016.
6. Undateable (Live) on NBC
This show is FUCKING hilarious! It originally started as a regular sitcom but now it is runs unfiltered and LIVE. These are some of the most talented improv comedians I have watched. I am in love with the main characters by the way. It follows a group of friends as the navigate the dating world. The two main guys are basically foils of each other. One constantly yearns for a relationship and Love while the other runs far away from the two. They break the fourth wall ALL THE damn TIME and just generally give no fucks. Probably the freshest thing on TV right now and I am not afraid to say THAT.
7. Friday Night Lights was on NBC--now on Netflix
I know, BOO. I'm late, but I was probably in middle school when this show came out. Do you know my black booty would've gotten whooped for watching this and Degrassi? LOL. Semi-cliche Highschool Drama. You would think I would stop watching because I do not care much for football buttt I have been watching for 3 seasons out of 5.
This show is FUCKING hilarious! It originally started as a regular sitcom but now it is runs unfiltered and LIVE. These are some of the most talented improv comedians I have watched. I am in love with the main characters by the way. It follows a group of friends as the navigate the dating world. The two main guys are basically foils of each other. One constantly yearns for a relationship and Love while the other runs far away from the two. They break the fourth wall ALL THE damn TIME and just generally give no fucks. Probably the freshest thing on TV right now and I am not afraid to say THAT.
7. Friday Night Lights was on NBC--now on Netflix
I know, BOO. I'm late, but I was probably in middle school when this show came out. Do you know my black booty would've gotten whooped for watching this and Degrassi? LOL. Semi-cliche Highschool Drama. You would think I would stop watching because I do not care much for football buttt I have been watching for 3 seasons out of 5.
8. Orange is the New Black on Netflix
If you haven't already started watching this. BYE, FELICIA. Return to the rock you call home. Seriously, the reason I began watching this show was because I got so tired of reading about all the fun my Facebook friends were having. The internet explodes every time this show comes back. Summary: Woman's Prison and all the adventures therein. WATCH IT.
What are yall's favorite shows? Which one of these do you watch? Let me know cuzzz girl there is nothing I love more than FANGIRLING with others. Like, its my favorite past-time. Hope you guys enjoyed and MERRY BLOGMAS!
XO 9jaknots.
If you haven't already started watching this. BYE, FELICIA. Return to the rock you call home. Seriously, the reason I began watching this show was because I got so tired of reading about all the fun my Facebook friends were having. The internet explodes every time this show comes back. Summary: Woman's Prison and all the adventures therein. WATCH IT.
What are yall's favorite shows? Which one of these do you watch? Let me know cuzzz girl there is nothing I love more than FANGIRLING with others. Like, its my favorite past-time. Hope you guys enjoyed and MERRY BLOGMAS!
XO 9jaknots.
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