Put a Ring on It! {Celibacy Part 2}

Hey peeps!
Welcome to Celibacy part deaux! What overall helps your spiritual growth while being celibate is focusing and meditating on these ideals. I have watched quite a few messages on sexual purity and Godly relationships and am sharing what I've learned here. Enjoy!

1. The enemy wants to manipulate what is designed for you. 
Sex is never just sex and even though it is a beautiful experience, it is solely meant for the marriage covenant between a man and woman.
2. Sexual Temptation will come and God will provide a way of escape.
We will all be tempted but we have to know our limits and know when God is giving us an escape. That means no "netflix and chill", y'all! If we know we can't handle being at someone's house after 5 pm, DO NOT GO. Go on a breakfast date if you have to. Ultimately our greatest tool against sexual temptation is keeping our eyes on the prize! What's your purpose? Are you gonna let anything get in the way of that? Whatever you feed will eventually win. Are you fixating on these desires?

Tips:
*Christianity is best done in community--Fellowship or join a church
*Seek healthy and uplifting relationships--I have cut out most of the negative people in my life. Those who I haven't I probably work with or have to be around
*Try not to be around your girlfriend/boyfriend alone for long periods of time
*Focus on the logic not the emotion
*Find a genre of Christian music you enjoy--my favorite artists are: Hillsong United/Young and Free, Bethel Music, Kari Kobe and Laura Daigle--Lecrae and tadashi are great Christian rappers. I meditate in the lyrics to calm my anxiety.
*Have a better self perception
*Pray/meditate/talk to God
*Read the bible, sounds obvious but even if it's one verse a day, it helps keep focus
*Hang out with yourself--I take myself out on "dates",  If I want to try a restaurant,  I go by myself. I have movie nights, I go shopping. I promise at least one date a month to myself. You have to love and cherish yourself.
*Develop/Focus on a Hobby-for me writing and blogging. I'm also going back to school and I work a lot. Sleep is also a huge part of my day. I think that counts as a hobby.

"We always say someone has a sex problem, they don't. They have a purpose problem"
-Nick Nilson

I hope this was helpful! You should be so focused on your purpose that you would let anyone get in the way of that. Believe me, in your spiritual journey there will be doubt and frustration but try to keep in mind that what's meant for you will come. You are absolutely worth a ring and worth the wait. God will never leave or forsake you. 
XO, 9jaknots

Worth the Wait {Celibacy Part 1}

DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE MY OPINIONS AND I AM IN NO WAY JUDGING HOW ANYONE ELSE LIVES THEIR LIFE, anywho..

Hey, loves!
As defined by the dictionary Celibacy is the "state of abstaining from marriage and sexual relations". Other definitions include it being a faith-based vow. Abstinence, however is abstaining from sex at any point in life for any reason. One can be abstinent and non-religious. This is why Abstinence-only education in schools doesn't always include religious undertones. That being said, I am a Christian. I grew up in a christian home and premarital sex was just never part of the plan.

I'm sure a lot of parents don't necessarily plan for underage pregnancy or that teens hope to let their parents down. It's just purely based on choice and every choice impacts an individual's life dramatically (whether we realize it or not). In my situation, much like others I was scared into remaining pure. For some it works, for some it doesn't. I can say it definitely worked for me because I'm a scaredy cat and I was a relatively good kid. I am also simply not ready for penetration, it gives me anxiety. I didn't party until probably senior year and even then...not really my thing. I didn't really come onto guys, I didn't know how to flirt. Shit, I still don't know how to flirt. Maybe some guys liked me but I've always been the "cool chick" not necessarily the "hot chick". I was also pretty honest about not wanting to hookup in high school, which probably played a role as well. I went to prom with one of my girlfriends. People thought I was gay, so yeah. Just to give you a little background. I had to be home at a certain time and there just wasn't a lot of room to hook up. Even if there was, I just didn't have the desire to be rebellious. I do not really have any regrets because most guys in high school are not really focused on a long term relationship. They lack the maturity to really understand the difference between love and lust. In adult life I've learned even grown men are still immature. We're not male bashing here, some women are immature as well but that just makes a better argument that maybe high school is not really the place to meet your soul-mate. My parents always said, "FACE YA BOOKS" Which is what I did. By the way I was not an amazing student, I was average and I definitely DID NOT need any distractions. At one point of senior year, I questioned whether I would actually graduate. I may have not dated the star of the football team--I watch too much "Friday Night Lights"--but I never feared getting pregnant in high school. By God's grace and my parent's home training.

Fast forward to now, almost 4 years later and a lot of shit has changed. I lost myself for a bit. I started to compromise, I started to listen to the bullshit coming out from some people's mouths. I have let myself down but I have learned a whole lot. I am still a virgin in the literal sense but have participated in other acts. Living on my own, I have felt a huge amount of loneliness and a void that just cannot be filled by any other human being. I took me forever to realize that. I have dated and have been constantly disappointed. I have dated people I was unequally yoked with and just thought where could this even go. I'm done. I've been celibate for a while now. I'm not dating anyone. I'm not looking. I like someone but it could not possibly work, so I'm getting over it. I don't know why I let who I am get bogged down by others opinions. I look at their lives and I don't see much to call home about. I do not want to be miserable and in a relationship. Let me be happy on my own. To those who say you cannot court anymore, that purity doesn't exist--I say Fuck 'em! As funny as that sounds, we just lack faith. When women have said to me you're living in a fantasy world. I just laugh, because I'd rather live in a fantasy world where I meet a man that respects me and marries me as opposed to one that lives off of me and never puts a ring on my finger. I think we as women get confused and think that men and women think alike, they don't. Men and women rationalize sex differently. To a man, Sex can be, just sex. It's easier for them because where sex is and where emotions are in their brains are two separate places. Too many women think, If I do this and that and the other, maybe he'll love me. Absolutely NOT, honey. Think again. No amount of sexing, money or food will ever keep him, if he is yours. I'm worth a ring, and I'm sure sex is worth the wait.
Basically this post was just explaining how much, I've learned and why I'm celibate. Tomorrow I'll post about, how I have practiced celibacy in the past and stay celibate now.
XO, 9jaknots

Beeteedubs: I'm christian, I do curse. It's a form of expression and being Christian doesn't mean you are perfect it means you're broken. We need to be realistic.