Monday, October 5, 2015

The biggest mistakes as an African Kid

So the struggle was real growing up as a African child in Ame-ricah, the land of the living. I just thought it'd be fun to highlight the dumbest thing you could do in an African home, even though your American counterparts could do it and get away Scott free.

1. EVER give anything to your parents with your left hand. Gerrarahere!
2. Come home with anything less than an A+++ Do you know when I was ya age I was at the top of my class? Yeah you and every other African parent. Lulz
3. (As a young woman) don't assist your mom in serving visitors. My friend, berra get ready for a good flogging that night!
4. Don't say good morning to your elders/parents/visitors. So you don't know how to greet?!
5. Don't cover your eyes when a sex scene comes on the tv. This is just an effin' given, the awkwardness was real!
6. Ever talk about dating anyone in school. Heh so you don grow wings? Not under my roof! At ya age? My friend, you berra face ya books!!
7. Don't cook or clean and you're a girl?! You will never get a husband if you do not know how to cook! So how am I gonna get husband if I'm not allowed to date?
8. Get mad at your parents for comparing you to your peers. They are really just trying to motivate you. African parents are the creators of reverse psychology.
9. Take the biggest meat out of the pot of stew/soup. Berra get ready to vomit that meat tonight.
10. Even try talking back to your parents even if they're wrong. My friend, if I give you one derry slap..ijiot!